Like a champ.

If you were curious about the medical care in the UAE, I am now qualified to answer that question. It’s pretty top notch.

I woke up in the middle of the night after having moved into my new apartment on Sunday feeling very strange indeed. Like something on the inside very desperately wanted to be on the outside… hello puke fest. I’ll spare you the best of the details… but let’s just say a half packed suitcase is not the best receptacle in such situations. On the other hand, I also found a new use for my bidet! And the moment I realized I had vomited all over the next day’s lesson plans was when I realized I probably wouldn’t be needing them.

The next morning I caught a taxi across town to the medical center to see a doctor. Normally, I wouldn’t have bothered but I needed a doctor’s note to be excused from work and I wanted to get cleared for H1N1. (I don’t want to be that girl.) She suggested I may have food poisoning or a slight virus and prescribed me 3 different types of medication. A little overboard, if you ask me. In addition to the meds, she put me on a bland diet and 2 liters of water a day. I told her that I wasn’t keeping water down and she suggested I be put on an IV. Ridiculous! Naturally, I declined.

However, as I was getting ready to leave and paying the cashier I pulled a classic Jill move. Public fainting. Nice. The exchange between the cashier and I went a little something like this:

Me: Where’s the restroom?
Her: The what?
Me: Restroom? Bathroom? … I think I need to see the doctor again… [putting my head down on her desk and gripping the edge]
Her: [looking bewildered] Madame, go sit down!
Me: I can’t walk. I can’t walk. [plop, assuming a semi-squat position to avoid hitting my head on the marble floor]
Emirati man who came to my rescue: Miss, what is happening?!
Me: I’m fainting… [and then I start crying, because that’s what I do at these times]
Nurse: Get a wheelchair!!!

It was all very dramatic. In the end I was admitted to emergency care and required to receive an IV. I wasn’t super pumped about it at the time… especially considering that I was so dehydrated my veins had collapsed and the nurse couldn’t get the needle in, which led to me crying again. Luckily, the nurse was actually very kind to me. She covered me in blankets and encouraged me to sleep until I was released… which was just a few hours later. After the IV I felt much better and was able to get to the grocery on the way home. The rest of the day I spent lounging about and trying to recuperate.

My favorite part of the experience? Doctor visit, IV in the Emergency Care, and 3 prescription drugs came to a grand total of 53 AED, approximately $13US. What a deal.

xo, jill